I burned out because I lost myself—my conversation with Susan Drumm

I was invited to Susan Drumm’s podcast. When I checked out her website it said “Top 1.5% podcasts worldwide”.

Oh.

I have to admit that sounded very impressive and a little intimidating. I felt like I had a high bar to live up to. But also a great opportunity to share my perspective with the world.

So when we were ready to record, I felt scary excited.

Who you truly are is what the world needs most

I loved Susan’s first question: “What is the difference you’re hoping to make in the world?”

My answer: “The difference I hope to make in the world: I believe that who you truly are is what the world needs most. And if you’re being yourself there would be so much less to fix in the world.”

Let me build on that answer a little—this is how I worded it in my book Radiant.

I truly believe this world would be a better place if we all knew how to take care of ourselves. We’re often busy trying to fix others, but if we focused that energy and attention on ourselves—making sure we are healthy and sane and full of self-love—then there would be so much less to fix.

I know that from personal experience. When I burned out it wasn’t because I was exhausted—though that was definitely part of the equation—it was because for years I sacrificed little pieces of myself to fit in. To meet expectations, to do what I thought was needed to be successful and belong.

It did bring me the success I thought I was looking for: the corporate job, the brand-new house, the handsome husband. But in the end it didn’t bring me joy because I had lost touch with myself and what I truly wanted.

Burnout is the symptom—losing yourself is the cause

That’s why I don’t treat burnout as a problem of doing too much. Sure, rest helps, but if you don’t come back to yourself then you’re only treating the symptom (exhaustion), not the real problem of getting away from who you truly are and what you need.

I had a great time talking to Susan and hope the podcast inspires you as much as it did me. We also spoke about:

• Why so many capable people are comfortably miserable.
• How can you be doing everything right, checking all the boxes, and still be running on empty?
• Why looking successful doesn’t mean you’re feeling okay.
• How I kept fixing the surface without realizing the problem underneath.
• Why your signal spot is valuable information, not an inconvenience to push through on.

And more. I’d say, carve out 26 minutes to listen.

You can watch the podcast below. Or listen to it on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or Spotify.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a Dutch life transformation mentor with 24 years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life, success, or circumstance have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love and the novel Poisoned Arrow. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again.

Follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram.