What if my sensitivity can save your life?

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) isn’t always easy. As I’ve shared before, I didn’t realize I was super sensitive until my late twenties. That means for about three decades I felt like something was wrong with me because I didn’t respond to things the way people around me did.

Since they were the majority—and the norm—I felt like I was doing something wrong.

When I was on vacation or on a trip there would be those key moments where I said “No, I’m not coming.” And I was made to feel really bad for missing out or not being a good sport. But it was necessary for me to take that time out to recoup. To sit on the couch and read when everyone else was out on an epic hike or other fun activity.

What is a highly sensitive person?

HSPs have a biological trait that causes them to process sensory information more deeply and thoroughly than others. This isn’t a disorder or condition, but rather a normal variation in about one-fifth of the population.

HSPs typically notice subtleties others miss, are more easily overwhelmed by intense stimuli (like loud noises or chaotic environments), process emotional information deeply, and often have strong empathic abilities. This trait is innate and has been identified across many species, not just humans.

If you’re curious whether you’re highly sensitive, you can take my free Sensitivity Quiz here.

I’ve learned to manage and even embrace my sensitivity and that has made a world of difference. But recently this insight hit harder than before.

Sensitivity as a survival mechanism

Elaine Aron has been researching high sensitivity since 1991 and she says:

“It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it in over 100 species (and probably there are many more) from fruit flies, birds, and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others’.“

So what if my sensitivity isn’t just annoying and something I need to learn to live with, it’s not even just a superpower that helps me tap into nuances other people miss—what if it’s what helps save your life?

If 20% of the population is highly sensitive by design (and nature always does things on purpose), what if instead of telling sensitive souls that they’re being difficult or picky—we thank them for the early warning that’s too subtle for 80% of the population to notice?

Recognizing early warning signs

Seeing my sensitivity as a survival skill helped me see things I notice in a new light. An example that comes to mind is some cutlery at my parents’ house. I refuse to use it because it feels all wrong. To my surprise my dad doesn’t like the feel of it either. But my mom thinks I’m being difficult. (Sorry mom.)

I blurted out, “What if ten years from now they discover there’s some horrible material in this cutlery that makes you sick?”

It actually wouldn’t surprise me.

Especially when knowing that the trait’s scientific term is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS).

So what if instead of telling people who are observant that they’re being difficult, we pause long enough to wonder what exactly might make them not like something? (I’m not talking about personal preferences but about feeling that something is off.)

What if, instead of feeling like you’re demanding or picky, you take that warning seriously?

I’m sharing this with you because it’s helped me see my sensitivity in a broader light. It’s not just helping me do my job—it might contribute to keeping us safe.

Perhaps you’re not highly sensitive but you have something else that you notice or dots only you can connect. Your unique abilities and experiences provide you with a perspective no one else has. That’s valuable.

Who you truly are is what the world needs most.

Let’s keep that in mind the next time we feel there’s something wrong with us or we think we’re weird because we’re different than the people surrounding us.

Here are 7 tips to help you manage your sensitivity at work — or better understand the sensitive people in your life.

If you’ve struggled with being yourself, and felt like you needed to hide or apologize for part of who you are, I’d love to support you. My private mentoring helps you feel at home with yourself and love your life (and yourself) again.

You can read stories of transformation from clients here.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

Follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram.