My 3 best tips for a relaxing vacation

Some clients jokingly call me the queen of self-care. But I’ll let you in on a secret: I learned everything I know about truly restful vacations by getting it wrong first. Here are the three lessons that changed how I take time off—so you can skip the trial and error.

Tip 1: Out of the office means disconected from work

When I still had my Flowerdoctor website I checked my email every single day for 900 days straight. I didn’t have an assistant at the time—let alone a fulfillment agency—so I did everything myself. Which meant I was always ‘on’ because I was afraid to miss an order or disappoint a client.

Until I went to Tuscany for a week with my family. Something made me decide I was going to do things differently this vacation. Tuscany is one of my favorite places in the world and I intended to enjoy it fully.

So I turned on my out-of-office—even though it felt scary.

The first day I felt bad, like I was cheating or cutting class. Until I made the conscious decision to prioritize my health and well-being. To trust that whoever emailed me that week would understand, and if they didn’t, a new customer would come in their stead.

I didn’t look at my email once; I never even felt the desire to after I made that choice.

I can barely begin to tell you what that week off did for my body, my mind, my sanity. I felt my body relax in places I hadn’t realized I was holding tension. I felt freer, calmer, clearer.

I had forgotten what that felt like. To not have to do something every day; to not be responsible or busy all the time. To rest my mind. That’s when I vowed, “Never Again.”

I highly recommend you do the same.

When you keep checking your email, your brain never really powers down. In my experience it takes at least a full day—often longer—before your mind starts to let go and drop into deeper rest.

When you keep checking your email, your brain never really powers down. In my experience it takes at least a full day—often longer—before your mind starts to let go and drop into deeper rest.

Tip 2: Know the difference between a catch-up week and a true vacation

I usually block time off in my calendar at the beginning of the year. That’s the only way to ensure those weeks stay free of appointments. And I felt pretty good about that. Until I realized that many of those so-called staycations turned into catching up on chores in the house and garden. Instead of having a true week off, I pulled weeds and ran a million errands.

So after a week off I wasn’t as rested as I should’ve been. That inspired me to differentiate between catch-up weeks and true vacations. Because the chores still needed doing—and being clear it wasn’t a holiday allowed me both the right mindset and real time off later.

It might seem like a small difference, but the impact on your well-being is huge. Pretending you’ve had a proper vacation when in fact you simply did a different kind of work means you won’t rest and recharge the way you need to.

So from now on, I’m scheduling both catch-up weeks and vacation weeks. 😉 It’s much clearer—and very much needed when you stay home during your time off. When you go away, you “only” have to worry about not checking your email. And I know that for some people, even that is a tall order.

Tip 3: Practical tips to help you put this into practice

Delete your email (and perhaps your social media) from your phone so it won’t be easy to check. This will also save you from checking your email out of habit (without consciously deciding to take a peek.)

Turn on your out-of-office and trust people will know how to get a hold of you in case of a real emergency.

Make sure that the last day before your vacation and your first day back in the office are free from meetings. This makes a huge difference in starting and ending your vacation with less stress.

Inform your clients and colleagues timely so they can get what they need from you. (Be sure to pretend you’re not working that last meeting-free day. 😉

Don’t schedule any promotions (or important projects) during your time away from the office. Because if you do, you’ll likely feel the need to check if all is going well or you’ll come up with new ideas to add or execute. I’ve made this mistake several years in a row. Thinking that if I pre-scheduled all the emails, the launch could go on autopilot. The problem is that having something important going on in your business or job makes it harder to power down your mind—which is one of the most needed things during a vacation!

These tips are simple yet very effective and I highly recommend you implement them if you’re not already doing this. Putting this into practice helps you return relaxed and full of energy 🙂

Want more support to disconnect?

If disconnecting feels harder than it should, that’s worth listening to.
Struggling to switch off on vacation is often a sign of something bigger: running low on energy all year round. That’s exactly what I wrote Radiant for—to help you move from drained to genuinely energized, set boundaries that stick, and stop feeling guilty about rest. Because being busy and tired shouldn’t be normal.

Read more about Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

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