How do to deal with a situation that triggers you

In a recent group call we spoke about a situation where something had happened for a participant and we looked at what had triggered the event (the underlying layer). Once I shared my insights someone asked:

How can we once we are in a situation and we are triggered and it feels off, deal with that without being dependent on a session like this?

First and foremost: ground. Because when you are in a situation where you are triggered, chances are your energy is all over the place. So make sure you focus on you and how you are feeling. The more you are grounded, the easier it is to sense what is off. To recognize what is yours. As in what is your energy, your emotion and what is someone else’s. It’s really important to always make that distinction!

When you’re fully grounded then cleanse and clear your energy so you can be certain you are not carrying any emotions or energy from someone else around.

Then you can journal or meditate—whichever works for you to get in touch with your intuition. Ask for any guidance, any clarity that you can receive that will help you move forward. And trust what bubbles up from inside you.

Or will the situation always resolve itself?

Sure, eventually if you wait long enough, no matter the disruption everything will somehow return to balance. But you might not want to wait for that balance to occur naturally. You might want to make conscious choices as to what you are or are not allowing, what you will or will not participate in or lend your energy and time for. You can make conscious decisions there.

It is usually something that happens outside of you that triggers something inside of you. That’s why you’re responding and feeling a certain emotion.

The better you are at recognizing what is triggered inside you, and being willing to look at that, and to know that whenever you feel frustration, anger, or sadness that 99% of the time it has nothing to do with what the other person did or did not do or say. But it has everything to do with what is triggered inside you that is tied to an old experience or an old belief.

The more you allow yourself to make it a habit to see a trigger as something external that allows you to look inside and shift and change things, the more you can be on top of your own growth and development.

Just keep asking yourself: what is my part in this? What role did I play here? What is my contribution to this situation?

It is so easy to blame the other person. And I’m not saying they didn’t have any part in what happened. But you can’t change what they did (aside from when they blatantly disrespected a boundary and you can talk to them about it). Just always look at yourself.

Look in the mirror and wonder “What can I shift? What can I change?”

I highly recommend you do this. Except when you are attached to the outcome or the topic is very personal or emotional. In those instances, it is near impossible to discern intuition from hope and guidance from fear.

Those are the times I ask for someone else to support me as well.

If you have a burning question or theme you can ask the Carriers of Light for their insights and guidance. There is a Gathering with the Carriers of Light happening soon.

Read all about this powerful call here

PS Even if you don’t have a specific question in mind, but somehow this call with the Carriers of Light resonates, then I recommend you join us 🙂 Your intuition is guiding you there for a reason.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a Dutch life transformation mentor with 24 years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life, success, or circumstance have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love and the novel Poisoned Arrow. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again.

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