Caring for yourself while caring for others

When everybody leans on you it can feel impossible to carve out time for yourself. When you feel you’re responsible for everything and everyone, or when everyone turns to you when things need to get done—chances are you’re running yourself ragged.

This is for the caregivers, the nurturers, the people who go out of their way to support others, and for everyone who is simply very busy.

This is the story of an actual client.

The challenge

This entrepreneur came to me exhausted, overwhelmed and at her wit’s end. Not through any fault of her own, but because life had thrown her one too many curve balls.

She’s the main caretaker of her terminally ill father and aging mother, her best friend is going through a divorce and her own company is navigating the challenges of this uncertain world. She does this all while supporting her husband and his business, putting her kids through university and doing volunteer work.

That’s a lot for anyone.

She’s so used to doing everything herself that it took her body to wake her up and take action. What finally made her reach out was that her blood pressure got to unhealthy levels.

She later said, “I was pushing myself way beyond my limits—mainly because I quickly feel guilty and responsible for things.”

That’s a common pattern I see. When people act out of obligation, expectation or guilt, they often push themselves past what’s healthy.

The shift

We started working on her energy level first. Because when you wake up feeling depleted, every challenge feels more difficult to handle. We identified why she felt like she needed to prioritize everyone else over herself, and her well-being.

She’d been so busy taking care of others, feeling responsible and keeping a million plates spinning that she’d gotten away from herself and as a result her head and heart were no longer aligned. She started setting better boundaries—even when she felt guilty for saying no. Like not answering the phone before she got out of bed. And she began honoring her intuition again.

She went from “I have no time to do anything for myself because I get sucked into what’s going on for others.” to prioritizing time for herself each morning.

She told me “You have put something in motion.”

Where she is now

After two sessions her blood pressure went down. Her doctor asked what she’s been doing and she told her MD about working with me.

The doctor said, “Keep doing that and keep me posted.”

She’s sleeping much better, is feeling more relaxed and has a lot more energy. She experiences more inner peace and feels more balanced. Her creativity started flowing again—which is something that happens often when people return to themselves. And she feels so much more back to herself.

The challenges in her life haven’t gone away, but now she feels much better equipped to deal with them and navigate these issues in a way that does not deplete her health and sanity.

She has finally taken action on a project that is very dear to her heart—one that will bring her so much joy. And that is worth everything.

Seeing these changes for people brings me enormous joy. If life has thrown a lot at you, or if you’d simply like support in staying true to yourself while caring for others—without running yourself ragged—my private mentoring might be perfect for you.

Read more about Life Transformation Mentoring here. 

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

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