3 main mistakes to avoid pain

March 7, 2020

Today I will share with you how to open your heart to more love, and what most of us do wrong in this area [thus cutting ourselves off from not just love but our life-force energy!]

In this post (and the next) I’ll share my best tips and exercises as well as what to look out for when it comes to opening your heart.

We’ve all been hurt over time and we all found a way to deal with the pain. We also came up with a strategy to avoid future pain. I’ve done it myself, I see it in clients and the people around me.

There are three most common ways to prevent pain (or so we think…).

Biggest mistake #1 – We leave our body

Now hold on before you think that’s not you. Chances are 95% that you do this too!

Let me explain what I mean by leaving your body.

We’re a spiritual being in a human body and in a normal situation our energetic body is aligned with our physical body. Picture two circles, one is your energetic body and the other is your physical body. In a healthy situation they overlap perfectly so it looks like one circle.

But when you’re in pain (or trying to avoid being hurt) your energetic body withdraws from your physical body. Picture the energetic circle moving upwards so the bottom half hovers around your shoulders. Now your physical and energetic body overlap for less than 50%.

It seems to do the trick. You feel less (because you’re literally less present) so it’s less painful.

BUT. And this is a big but. Though you seem to have achieved your goal (avoid pain) you’re not actually avoiding it. The pain is still there—less prominent, I’ll give you that—but this is not a solution. It’s a Band-Aid!

A Band-Aid with the side-effect of being less in touch with your body and what it needs. This is how burnout happens or (chronic) disease develops. We miss all the signals from our body because we chose to be less present.

Make sense?

Unfortunately that’s not our only strategy to deal with (or avoid) heartache.

Biggest mistake #2 – We close our heart

In an attempt to preempt the pain we disconnect. Have you ever broken up with someone because you didn’t want them to do it? Or closed the virtual door on someone because of the turmoil that got stirred up inside you?

We do this in platonic relationships as well (think family, friends, colleagues). We close ourselves off.

If you’re the first to close your heart then it’s less painful when you’re disappointed.

Alas, this comes with a huge undesired side-effect as well!

When you close your heart, you shut down a part of your life-force energy. That’s the energy you need to function and be vibrantly alive.

When someone misses the twinkle in their eyes or seems to be lower in energy, that’s a telltale sign their heart chakra is not fully open.

Closing your heart will literally lower the amount of energy you have.

Unfortunately it’s a very common way most of us deal with pain and (potential) disappointment.

That brings me to the third most common mistake we make when it comes to being open to love (and well-being!).

Biggest mistake #3 – We hide in our head

This is something we do out of habit. Only very few people know what it’s like to live from love all day, every day.

We try to control everything, because we think when we’re in control of our actions that means we control the outcome. Sadly that’s not the case (as you’ve probably noticed a couple of times during your life.)

And because we cannot control what another person will or won’t do we take preventative action: we retreat to our head. (Whatever part of our consciousness is left that is, most of our awareness is already halfway back to our home planet 😉

Of course this tactic, though it can temporarily lessen the pain, comes with a big fat side-effect as well.

When you’re holing up in your head, you cut off the connection to your intuition. Now I assume I don’t need to explain why that’s a bad thing 😉

When you lose touch with your intuition, you let go of your most valuable compass. That’s a big loss and unfortunately most people are not aware this is the result of their habit…

Do you want to stop avoiding the pain and heal the triggers that have kept you on this merry-go-round for so long? Then you’re warmly invited for a complimentary Clarity Session.

 

PS In this post I’m sharing the three TIPS to open your heart! <3 [the anti-dotes to these mistakes 😉 ]

Iris-van-Ooyen-04
© 2020 Bright Eyes