You're not tired from the Holidays—but from a disconnected life

December 16, 2025

It’s the end of year and if you’re feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, it’s easy to blame it on the end-of-year stress and busyness.

Sure. You have a lot going on and you’re trying to navigate social obligations without adding too much. You’re prepping for the Holidays and getting last-minute gifts. I get it.

But what if you’re not tired from the Holidays—but from living a life that isn’t aligned?

As someone who has had several wake-up calls, I can confidently say “You don’t want to wait for the wake-up call.” I recommend you course-correct before you hit that wall.

My burnout was my first wake-up call at age 24.

When you get burned out there’s rarely just one cause. Usually, it’s an accumulation of things like it was for me.

My burnout was a combination of pushing my body beyond its limits because of the high sense of responsibility that I had, my boss being transferred, my father-in-law passing away and wanting to keep all the balls in the air at home.

I was so busy taking care of everybody else, I forgot to take care of myself. Instead of sitting down to relax I cleaned the house, visited my recently widowed mother-in-law and tried to be the perfect girlfriend.

I was doing what was expected of me and what I thought I was supposed to be doing in order to be happy and successful. Combined with a high sense of responsibility and my perfectionism, that simply was disaster waiting to happen. And happen it did.

What I didn’t realize was the underlying deeper layer that drove me to keep going. That’s why one wake-up call wasn’t enough for me.

What people don’t tell you is there are different forms of burnout. From my perspective, these are the four types of burnout:

1. The conventional ‘doing too much for too long’ burnout

This is burnout as we know it from the media. This happens when you push your body beyond its limits. You’ve stopped listening to your body and you simply keep going—believing there is no alternative. Or you’re operating on false energy and not entirely realizing how empty your tank really is.

Whether you’re doing too much because you’re simply trying to keep too many plates spinning or whether it’s from sheer enthusiasm for your job, business or good cause—what it comes down to is that you’re doing more than your body can handle. And it’s damaging your health.

Keep in mind that you’ll be the last person to see your burnout coming because the shifts are so gradual. You get used to the changes in your body, the lowering of your energy, the sneaky increase in brain fog.

2. The ‘disconnected from self’ burnout

You fit in instead of being yourself. You tone yourself down to be liked or accepted. When you’re fitting in and are pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re getting further and further away from your true self. It’s like you’re slowly snuffing out your own light—being miserable because you’re not allowing yourself to be authentic.

Because you think that your true self isn’t wanted or appreciated or good enough.

Putting on a mask and showing up as an adapted or watered-down version of yourself takes a lot of energy. That’s a lot of negative effort in keeping things constrained and under wraps.

Maybe you’re not feeling at home in your body. Maybe you feel like you should always be the ‘good girl’ (or boy). Maybe you feel like you’re too much—or not enough.

Whether it was society or your upbringing or difficult experiences you’ve had, it resulted in you showing up in a way that is incongruent with your true self. I understand that might seem like the safe or logical option, but it’s costing you. And not just your joy.

3. The ‘unsatisfying work/no purpose’ burnout

This is akin to a “bore-out” but this goes deeper. This happens from doing work that’s not satisfying or aligned with your skills, where you don’t feel valued, appreciated or seen. It could be a soul sucking job or just not spending enough time in your zone of genius.

You’re basically spending too much time and energy doing things that either make you miserable or that simply don’t bring any joy. Deep down you know something feels off but you might not feel like there is another option. Or the idea of changing jobs—with all its consequences—or having to learn a new skill scares you.

4. The ‘disappointed in life’ burnout

You know something feels off but you can’t really pinpoint what it is. You just feel life should be lighter and more enjoyable than what you’re experiencing. Maybe you’re staying too long in a relationship that isn’t working. Maybe you’re afraid to put yourself out there and be seen. Maybe you’re simply going through the motions without wondering why, staying busy ticking things off your to-do list without picking your head up.

You’re simply not happy with where you’re at.

And you burn out from living a life that’s never really yours.

The underlying problem

All of these forms of burnout point to an underlying problem: you stopped listening.

You’re not listening to your body and its limits—begging you to slow down.

You’re not listening to your heart and intuition—urging you in another direction.

You’re not listening to your dreams and desires—asking you to choose joy.

That’s why you’re exhausted and miserable. That’s why you need an escape in the form of a vacation, a book or a bar of chocolate.

It’s why you go shopping for things you don’t need. Eating to fill an emptiness inside you.

You’re numbing yourself by scrolling on social media and binge-watching Netflix.

These are all forms of escape from the life that you’re living. A temporary reprieve.

You need to find some distraction or happiness or relief from what’s not bringing you the joy and the energy and the fulfilment that you’re looking for.

You think you just need to get through the Holidays and things will get better. But they won’t.

This won’t fix itself

This doesn’t fix itself in January. The calendar doesn’t reset the pattern. You’ll start the New Year just as exhausted, just as disconnected, just as miserable—unless you decide right now that you’re done.

I told you I had several wake-up calls—my physical burnout simply being the first. Things didn’t change enough after my burnout because I didn’t know I was disconnected from myself. I thought I just had to work less, take better care of my body. And I did. But that was just a partial solution.

What I want for you is to make a change before you run yourself ragged, before you’ve pushed your body or relationships beyond repair, before you hit that wall and lose yourself entirely.

If anything I wrote so far resonated, that’s a clear indication that you’re not at home with yourself.

That somehow you got disconnected. Whether that was through society, upbringing, or your best intentions of giving to others and forgetting to put yourself first. Whatever the reason—it’s time to come home.

It’s time to choose yourself and what you need. To listen to your body and your desires. To start honoring your intuition. To stop ignoring that nagging feeling that something is off—that there should be more to life than this.

This is your wake-up call.

And if you’re ready for a happier, more fulfilling life with more energy, then my online program Come Home to Yourself is exactly what you need.

We start in mid-January and you get an early bird discount until December 31. There are only 10 seats so we can go deep.

Over six weeks, you’ll reconnect with your body, energy, truth, intuition, desires, and power through live calls and direct support from me. So this New Year will be different and more aligned. So you love your life again.

Get your seat here now with Early Bird discount.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. Contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again.