When to push through and when to surrender

January 21, 2020

I know all about pushing through. There were days (years!) I was the Queen of pushing through. I didn’t stop. I kept going until I literally had nothing left to give.

I had burned myself out by giving so much of myself to everyone and everything around me.

I felt responsible. Responsible for doing a good job—even when my boss was transferred and I had to do hers, too.

Responsible for being a good ‘housewife’—even when I worked full-time plus a long commute.

Responsible for my partner and his family’s wellbeing because his father had passed away, as if his death wasn’t allowed to impact me—thinking I had to be the strong one.

Responsible for being perfect and doing everything perfectly.

I gave and gave until only adrenaline kept me going. Not that I noticed… I was too busy pushing through.

Pushing through has taught me there is an end to what I can do, an end to what I am responsible for, and an end to how perfect something (or someone!) has to be.

It also showed me I can do a lot if it’s really needed. That this is a strength I can muster in case of emergencies.

Surrender. Now that is an entirely different energy, much more subtle and infinitely more powerful. It requires an entirely different approach.

Surrender is about letting go. About trust. About letting someone else (the Universe) take the wheel.

It’s about releasing control and allowing yourself to be taken to where you need to go.

It’s about believing the Universe knows better than you.

Surrender is scary. Where pushing through is about taking the wheel, surrender is about sitting in the backseat—with a blindfold on.

Surrender is hard. While pushing through might seem hard (and is a lot of work) surrender is much harder.

People often ask me how to surrender, and I wish there was a magic button we could push to make that happen.

As it is, surrender is about taking small steps. It’s about deciding to stop pushing through. It’s about releasing control. It’s about letting go of attachment to the outcome. It’s about accepting you don’t know how or when you’ll get there. If you’ll even get there.

Surrender is the most important thing you’ll ever do—one of the hardest things but so powerful.

When you surrender you open up to the Universe and the beauty of life.

When you surrender you admit you don’t know.

When you surrender you open your heart and your mind and your life to miracles.

You allow yourself to be taken to where you’re guided, to where you’re meant to be.

Surrender is powerful and beautiful and messy. I don’t think I’ve ever surrendered fully without crying. Crying helps me release and let go.

The tears help me see I’ve come to the end of my rope, that this isn’t working. And though I’ve tried to do things my way, though I’ve given it a lot of effort, this isn’t what’s going to get me where I want to go.


That’s what I wish for you too.

Here’s to surrender, one moment at a time.

And when you realize you’ve taken back control (because for most of us it’s so automatic) all you have to do is take a deep breath, relax your shoulders and decide to surrender again. And again.


PS If you want support in how to surrender and navigate life then you’re welcome to apply for a complimentary Clarity Session here



Photo credit
© 2024 Bright Eyes