How to ride the downs of life

February 1, 2019

Life is about riding the ups-and-downs. The ups are fun, gliding on high. It’s the downs we need to learn to navigate. To not be pulled under by a current that’s deeper than we can reach. To not keep looking through a dark lens, rather than taking a step away for some perspective.

Life can hit us hard, and usually unexpected. But it can be fabulously beautiful as well.

It’s tempting to numb what you feel so the downs aren’t as low, but it means you equally erase some of those delightful highs.

Many people aren’t fully grounded, not just because they work too much with their head, but often to escape their body and not feel as much…

Life is about balance. And we know the dualities of light and dark, up and down, are what make this such a crazy good adventure.

So how do we navigate those depths? What can you do to pull yourself out of a rut and feel better—without pretending the ‘bad’ stuff isn’t there?

This is not about ignoring what happens or suppressing what you feel. This is about accepting what is, and move on from there.

I’m single and I have been for years. I know my guy is out there and we’ll meet at the right time. For a while I used that as a shield, not consciously of course. But trusting that he is out there made me attach more to that future vision than be aware of the now.

I’m good at being alone. Heck, I’m highly sensitive I need time for myself.

And when I’m not reading a book or spending time with family and friends there’s always plenty to do. I have more ideas than I have time. So I kind of skipped over the fact that I’m alone.


And that is fine. But for quite some time it was something I didn’t want to look at. It made me feel I had done something wrong. Oh, I’ve done lots of inner work around it. And that somehow made me feel that was enough. I had done the work, right?

But there’s one thing I forgot: to accept it.

You might have something in your personal or professional life that isn’t how you would want it. It’s time to look it in the face, to acknowledge that this is true—no matter how much you wish it wasn’t.

To get out of that valley of not having or grieving or missing, you need to accept that this is where you are now, for this moment. Only then can you start to climb out of the down, towards neutral and then up high.

What in your life have you avoided to stare straight in the face? What’s something, perhaps seemingly small, that you resist looking at?

Write it down, look at it, and let yourself feel what this is like. If tears come, let them surface. If you’re angry or tired or disappointed, if you feel betrayed by life or the Universe, voice it. Say it out loud, write it in your journal, jump up and down—whatever it is that helps you look at this and experience the void.

Cry all you want, take a walk or a salt bath. Soothe yourself once you’ve stared it in the eye. Once you’re able to fully say “Yes, this is part of my life right now. It might suck, but here it is.”

Then take a deep breath and release. You can let it go. Ask for the next best step and trust it will be shown to you. Because you are not meant to stay down here.

Life is always in motion—swinging back and forth. And the time has come for your pendulum to start swinging again.

Out of the void.


PS There’s always something in your life you haven’t fully embraced yet—big or small. Give yourself a moment to figure out what it is, accept it and go from there 🙂

PPS Want support in navigating your life? Apply for a complimentary Clarity Session here

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