Are you afraid of the answer?

There’s probably at least one question that you don’t want to hear the answer to or you wouldn’t be reading this 😉.

I know there’ve been plenty of times I didn’t want to know the answer. Does my partner still love me?  Is this job still the right fit? Is this the right decision?

Today we’ll explore the various reasons we may be hesitant to knowing the answer, how to shift that and why avoiding the response is not the best strategy.

One of my corporate clients took my Burnout Scan^TM and he scored a fairly common result: a little too much stress, not enough sleep, too much worry and feeling unhappy and unbalanced as a result.

About six months later we met again and I had a sense that he was experiencing more stress and his energy level had dropped. So I suggested he take the scan again. “Great idea, I will.”

A week went by, two weeks. I thought perhaps he lost the link so I sent it to him again.

One month, two months, four months. When we met again I asked him about it. He laughed a bit embarrassedly and said, “I’m scared to take the scan because I don’t want to know the result. I think it might be pretty bad.”

He preferred to stick his head in the sand rather than take the assessment and know for certain.

So why would he be afraid of the answer? Intuitively he already knew he wasn’t going to like the outcome of the assessment. He just didn’t know how bad it would be. That wasn’t the real reason he was hesitant to take the scan.

My guess is that he was afraid of what it meant that he was doing ‘worse’.

What do you make it mean?

So what if you’re more stressed than you were a while back? There may be plenty of (good) reasons for that. Once you’re aware you can start addressing the issue.

The problem isn’t knowing the answer, it’s the meaning you attach to that answer.

When I was burned out, I didn’t just feel like I had dropped the ball. I felt like a failure.

So what story are you telling yourself about the answer to the question you fear? What do you make the reply mean? Does it make you a bad partner, parent, friend or leader? Does it mean you’re unworthy or unlovable? (Two of the main fears most of us have.)

Lack of information

One of my first mentors said, “Fear is simply a lack of information.”

Fear of the unknown or the uncertainty of a situation can be debilitating. The solution is as obvious as it can be complex: gathering more information.

In this case: how would knowing his energy and stress level affect or help him?

When you take the scan, you’ll hear within minutes in which of the four phases you land, what that looks like and how it’s impacting your health.

Once you’re clear on what’s off, you’ll know where to focus your efforts.

After you take the assessment, I won’t leave you hanging. You’ll receive four emails with practical tips tailored to the specific phase you’re in so that you can immediately start taking practical, doable actions to lower your stress and have more energy.

Consequences

I understand wanting to delay bad news. I too had times when I was not ready to face a truth I intuitively sensed. In my experience it’s not so much the truth that we’re avoiding but the consequences. We’re not ready to do what we think is needed to course correct.

In this case he might’ve thought that the required changes to lower his stress were not doable or acceptable.

But continuing to push your body and mind beyond its limits for a long period of time comes at a cost.

Globally 1 in 4 employees is experiencing symptoms of burnout according to McKinsey Health Institute. That might be you.

Often we’re not ready for change until there’s no other option. Until we’re forced to do things differently.

Better to be clear than afraid

There are two elements to this. First of all, the thing we fear is often worse in our imagination than it is in real life. It can take on a life of its own and may be looming over you—costing you precious energy and focus.

Second, once you are clear on the state of your energy and stress level you can take practical steps to improve your well-being where needed.

Maybe you’re doing better than you thought, perhaps it’s a much-needed wakeup call. Either way that’s valuable information to have.

The sooner you take action, the less there is to ’fix’.

The illusion of more time

That corporate client I mentioned? It’s not just that he was afraid to see the results. It’s also that he thought he had more time. That things weren’t yet bad enough for him to warrant taking action.

You get burned out by doing a little too much, too often—for too long. Thinking you can manage. Because that’s how it happens.

Nobody gets burned out on purpose.

We risk burnout because we think we’re different. We think we are stronger or have more energy. Or we think we don’t have a choice.

But most of all we think we have more time. More time before we get to the point of no return. Before we get to the point where we’ve stretched and depleted ourselves beyond what our body and mind can handle.

We’re slowly burning out because we don’t fully believe there’s a limit to what we can do.

I was burned out at the age of twenty-three and I never saw it coming. Not even when my parents warned me.

That’s one of the main reasons I developed this scan. Because you will be the last person to notice you’re at risk for burnout. It happened to me and I’ve seen it happen to many people.

You likely won’t know until you’ve hit the wall. You won’t even see that wall approaching because it’s such a gradual change. You can read more about the first signs of burnout here.

Take back control

Rather than cross your fingers and pray you will make it to the next vacation without too much damage, it’s time to take back control.

You owe it to yourself to take good care of your body and mind. You only have this one body and it has to last quite a few more years—ideally in good condition. The more you wear it out, the more problems you can expect in the (near) future. It’s a simple as that.

Stop sticking your head in the sand and make sure you know how you’re doing. Whether you use my complimentary Burnout Scan^TM or find out in another way.

Within minutes the scan gives you a clear view on what your energy and stress level is like and whether there’s any urgency in needing to make changes.

You’ve got nothing to lose 😉 .

No, scratch that. You’ve got everything to lose!

Don’t be too late. Take back control over your energy and stress level and take the Burnout Scan^TM now!

So what happened with this manager? He did take the scan. And it confirmed his suspicion that he was doing ‘worse’. We were able to discuss it and address doable and necessary changes and he’s feeling much better as a result.

This is not a time to be afraid of the answer. It’s the time to be proactive about your health (your relationship, your job, your life).

Whether you’re simply curious about your energy and stress level or worried where you will land on the burnout scale, I highly recommend you take the free scan here now. I’m offering it for free for a limited time.

In addition, you’ll receive practical tips that help you take back control over your well-being. Because life is meant to be enjoyed and the more energy you have, the better you feel, the more productive and creative you are and the more time you will have left to enjoy with loved ones.

Have a day full of energy and inspiration!

Need support navigating your life? Iris van Ooyen is your guide to hope when life feels uncertain. In the moments when you feel lost and don’t know where to turn, Iris offers clarity, support, and a path forward. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. Contact Iris to help you navigate life’s pivotal crossroads with confidence and purpose.

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