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Are you a recovering perfectionist?

July 5, 2013

I’m perfect. I wish. Sometimes. I used to think I had to be perfect to be anything. To be loved, to be appreciated, to be seen, to be valuable. You name it. Not on a conscious level. No, I just had high standards. And I expected others to live up to those. But more importantly, I had to really be flawless at them myself. So I worked long hours and I check, check, double-checked everything. I remember my marketing manager saying to me (a long time ago) “Iris, 80% for you is 110% for most people”. I was spending a lot of time and energy on the remaining 20% and I’m guessing not many people would even have noticed the difference. That’s obviously not what I thought at the time.

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen

It’s been quite a journey and I am still getting better at it 😉 In order to manage and grow your business you have to let go of perfectionism or you will not get much done. There’s always things to be improved and adjusted. And if I would wait until I got things perfect I would not be able to offer much to my clients. And that would serve no one. People are not asking for perfect. They want genuine contact, a true and loving connection and high-quality.

I love what Brené Brown writes in her magnificent book ‘The gifts of Imperfection’. She explains it very clearly so I will quote her:

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.”

I’ve always had those mixed up. I thought that I was growing by being perfect. That I was being my best by being perfect. Instead I was limiting myself and slowing down my growth. I was not only hampering the growth of myself and my business, it was agonizing, frustrating, exhausting and not at all rewarding. Nowadays I ask myself “Is it good enough for what I’m trying to accomplish?”. And I can always come back to it later if I feel I must. So sometimes I go back and change things, but more often it turns out it is not perfect but pretty good. And certainly good enough!

So I would like to ask you if you sometimes strive to be perfect? It may be in your business, it may be in your household, the way you take care of the kids, connect with friends or how you present yourself. Ask yourself if there is a specific area where you tend to aim for perfect and thus are getting in the way of yourself.

Brené says that one of the things that help us embrace our imperfections is to become more loving and compassionate with ourselves. And I happen to know a way you can do that!

I’ve created a powerful program with 21 Activations to Raise your Vibration, so you can feel more love, have more energy and listen to your inner wisdom.

Joining will not solve your perfectionism but it will provide you with healing activations and guided visualizations that help you embrace more of who you are and allow more (self) love into your life.

Read all about the 21-day Activations here or get immediate access

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