We’re social creatures. We adapt. That’s how we survive. But what if you’ve adapted so much that you’re losing touch with who you truly are?
What if you’ve become so good at sensing what other people need and what is expected of you that you’ve adjusted yourself to the point that this desired behavior has become your new normal?
It’s something I often see in clients. It’s something I’ve done myself.
I’m the girl who did everything the way it was expected.
The corporate job. The brand-new house. The handsome husband.
I was the ‘good’ girl. And once I’d achieved everything I thought I’d ever wanted…I was the miserable girl too.
The problem is that we start changing our behavior at a very young age. What was once an attempt to fit in or even survive, often becomes what holds you back as you get older.
If you’re not being true to who you are, then how can you thrive? If you no longer know what the true you wants or needs, how can you give it to yourself?
I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. But I want you to wonder about the things you do. How much of it is done on automatic pilot?
How often to you stop and pause to ask yourself whether you truly want to do this thing or go to that place?
Life’s too short to live on autopilot. Or at least, that’s what I think.
It took me a while (read: lots of inner work and personal growth) to get clear on where I was no longer aligned with the true Iris. Or where I wasn’t even sure what that meant or looked like.
But I do know that the more you allow yourself to connect to the person hiding underneath all the layers you’ve adopted over the years, the happier and healthier you’ll be!
Because when you stop resisting yourself, when you stop forcing yourself into something you are not, the more freely your energy can flow. The more balanced you (and your body and mind) will be!
To start with I recommend you look at your calendar for the coming week. Because the things you give your time, energy and budget to can be a good indication of what you find important—or feel you should find important.
What are two or three things that stand out that you don’t want to do or that no longer feel aligned?
Indications that something is not (or no longer) aligned:
- You’re relieved when something is cancelled.
- An activity drains you.
- You postpone doing this thing (or seeing this person) as long as possible.
- You feel you should do it.
- You feel resentment thinking about having to do something or go somewhere.
- It fails to make you happy.
- You can’t remember why you’re spending time, energy or budget on this.
If you can’t skip those activities that stand out as possibly no longer aligned, at least see it as valuable information. Perhaps don’t accept that invite next time. And start looking for what does light you up.
Because it begins by giving yourself permission to be you. To be different. To be who you were born to be. Not who you molded yourself into because that’s what was expected of you.
You no longer need to do things simply because people expect you to, because it’s become a habit or because it’s always been that way.
It’s time to consciously choose what you give your time and energy to!
This is not an easy journey but such a powerful one if you’re willing to take it.
Have a day full of energy and inspiration!
PS Are you ready to let go of the layers that are hiding who you truly are? Then my SWEET POWERTM Transformative Mentoring program is for you! You’ll gain an all-new perspective about yourself, and access to intuitive insights you can’t get to on your own. With me as your personal sounding board, you’ll have the benefit of someone who can objectively view the situation from above—like having your own dial-up connection to infinite wisdom.
If you’re interested in private mentoring with me, you’re invited to a complimentary Clarity Session to discover the best next steps for your personal and professional growth.
PPS If you’re curious about what uncovering the layers looked like for me, read my personal story here.