Practical Self-Care: what your body & mind really need

In an ideal world, we’ve all been taught how to take care of our health and well-being. We know what our body and mind need not just to function, but to flourish. Sadly, that’s rarely the case.

For a long time, I treated self-care as an afterthought. Getting things done always seemed more important. Until I realized that my self-care is what enables everything else. But it took a burnout and a few other life events to get to that point.

Let’s see if we can save you some of my hassle. And answer this question I got asked on LinkedIn earlier this week.

“I think the toughest thing is defining what self-care truly is. Sometimes we think of expensive activities like spa time or therapy and curious to know how we can better schedule the low-hanging-fruit self-care activities into our everyday life.”

What is self-care?

I believe self-care is knowing what you and your body and mind need to function well—and then to be willing and able to give it to yourself as best you can.

Self-care means doing that thing you know you need (or your body needs) even when you don’t feel like it, even when you’re pressed for time, even when you’re tired. Especially when you’re tired.

Because you need a break most when you feel like you can’t afford it or don’t have the time to take one.

We may need more than one article to break this down 😉. But let’s start with getting clear on what you need to function well.

If you want to be successful in your job or business—in fact, if you want to be successful in life—you need to take your self-care extremely serious.

Knowing what you and your body need and being able to give it to yourself is the foundation for everything.

I feel like self-care is getting a bad rap from being trivialized: Feeling overwhelmed? Take a bath.

By all means, do take a bath. Because it can be very relaxing, good quality time and exactly what you need to deal with the overwhelm in the short-term.

But what I mean by self-care is learning how to inherently take care of yourself, because most of us have no clue. We are pushing buttons left, right and center in the hopes of hitting the right one. None of us have been taught or have taken the time to figure out what our body, mind, and soul actually need to be balanced. What helps us recharge and relax and stay sane? The only people who do know are the ones that were forced to learn because they were backed up against the wall by a burnout, accident, or intense life event. Like me.

I want you to know what to do before you get to that point.

Self-care is a crucial life skill

I wish self-care was taught in school. I think it’s a crucial life skill along with many others, like learning how to grieve. That’s what we need to know in order to have a happy, healthy, sane life.

When I talk about self-care, I’m not speaking about frilly, optional, fluffy stuff. I’m talking about the foundation, knowing what you need in order to be balanced and fill up your tank with crucial information—so that you have the support to go places, to love your life, to fulfill your dreams, to support others, to connect, to be valuable, and to be able to contribute to the world.

True self-care is about knowing what you need to be balanced and how to recharge your body, mind, and soul. To recognize the need for time alone. To balance your life so you are not running on empty all the time.

TRUTH: True self-care is the structural foundation on which you build your life.

It’s more than a nice bath, candles, and turning in early for one night. True self-care is about healthy habits, underlying beliefs. and making yourself a priority rather than an afterthought.

That does not mean there will never be moments when you work through the evening because of a deadline or have to push through in some other way. Of course, life happens. But when you have a healthy foundation, those moments where you have to push through will not derail you as much. Because you now have both the tools and the bandwidth to be able to deal with that.

What does daily self-care look like?

It starts with the basics. Here are some things you can check:

1. Are you getting enough sleep? Most people don’t, so that’s a great place to start.
2. Are you eating healthy? Are you eating mostly whole foods? Are you eating food that is a fit for your body and activity level? If you don’t know the answer to all these questions, it’s worth finding!
3. Are you taking regular breaks? As in: at a minimum take a 30-minute lunch break away from your desk or work area. And at least two more 10 or 15-minute breaks in addition to that. Adding micro breaks for stretching and taking your eyes of the screen would be ideal.
4. Are you going outside several times a day? Even when it’s cold or raining?
5. Are you exercising regularly? Find a way to work out that fits your body and its needs and abilities.
6. Do you pause when you are tired? Ideally you should take a break before you get tired. (I’ll get to that in another article).
7. Do you pay attention to your ‘signal spot’? This is the part of your body that usually gets in trouble first. It could be your throat/tummy/shoulders/headache etc. We all have a weaker spot in our body that will signal to us that we’re doing a little too much or that a cold or illness is coming. Whenever your feel your signal spot act up you need to take serious action in order to not deplete yourself further and avoid getting sick (or burned out, if you do it often enough.)

Okay these are the basics. In addition, I would recommend the following.

Make this part of your self-care routine:

• Set healthy boundaries—physically, emotionally and mentally.
• Balance time alone with time being around other people. When you are an introvert or highly sensitive this is especially important.
• Spend at least 1 hour per day doing something by yourself that helps you relax and recharge.
• Ground at least twice per day. This helps you be more in touch with your body and makes it easier to notice when you’re pushing through or getting tired. Here’s more on how to ground.
• Practice deep breathing. Most of us breathe too shallow and with our chest rather than our belly.
• Spend time in nature.

There’s much more I can add but I’m trying to rein myself in 😉.

You do have the time

I realize doing these things takes time. Time you probably think you don’t have. Think being the operative word here.

Your self-care truly is the foundation for everything else you do. When you are healthy and well-rested you are more efficient and effective. You’ll be more creative and productive. Not to mention more fun to be around 😉.

Taking good care of yourself is the investment you make to have the rest of your life go smoother. If everything ripples from your self-care, how could it not be a priority?

As impossible as it may seem to go to bed earlier, I bet you can find an hour when you make different choices. Like spend less time on social media or Netflix. Perhaps plan your meals ahead of time or find another way to be more efficient. It all comes down to what you find most important.

If you take shortcuts when it comes to your self-care, you will pay the price sooner or later. Whether it’s through doing work that’s less than stellar because you’re making mistakes, don’t see that creative solution or don’t have the overview you would have if you were rested. Whether you are being grumpy, easily irritated or lash out at a loved one. Or whether the depletion of your body results in (chronic) illness or burnout.

I recommend you pick one thing to add to your daily self-care now.

Have a day full of energy and inspiration!