Will people still like me when they see who I truly am?

Most people worry about what other people will think about them. I know we shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. That doesn’t mean we don’t.

It reminds me of what one of my first mentors said, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

Very true but not always easy to put into practice.

Our two biggest fears

The two biggest fears for most people are “Am I worthy?” and “Am I loved?”

We’re afraid love will be withheld when people see our true self. We may curate our posts on social media, but long before that we started curating ourselves. We tone ourselves up or down in order to fit in, to be liked and appreciated.

We’re afraid we’re too quirky, too sensitive, too nerdy, too bookish, too outspoken, too fill in the blank, for others to like us. We think mainstream is our ticket to success. But all that does is guarantee our misery.

There’s so much we don’t talk about because we’re afraid.

We’re afraid we won’t make the cut. To be the outlier. To fail at life.

Raw and vulnerable

Several years ago, I wrote a stream of consciousness piece that a friend recently called a poem. I titled it FEAR—raw and vulnerable.

It starts like this:

Do you know the feeling

That something is wrong with you

That even though people pretend they like you

They can’t

Not truly

If they knew you.

I wrote it late at night with tears streaming down my face. I can’t recall what prompted me to write it but I vividly remember how it felt. (You can read the entire piece here.)

It was scary to share at the time. And it still feels scary to share it with you again today. But it also feels important. Because the world needs us to be more ourselves. Not less.

We need you

I believe that who you truly are is what the world needs most.

That requires you to show us who you are—not hide. To show up as yourself, not a watered-down, appropriate version of you.

Unfortunately, most of us learned to dim our light, to fit in, to tie our worth to what we produce and who we serve. And that’s why so many of us are unhappy, unhealthy, and exhausted.

There would be less to fix—in ourselves, in our relationships, in our world—if we were all simply being ourselves.

You don’t exist just to serve others. You get to enjoy life simply because you are alive. Your being is enough.

Knowing that intellectually is not the same as being able to live that.

This took me by surprise

It took me years to show the world more of my sensitive, intuitive self. For a long time, I worried what people I knew from more corporate environments would think.

So I was baffled when the first thing a former colleague told me at a reunion was “The content you’re sharing on LinkedIn makes me so happy!”

Not in a million years would I have expected that. Which goes to show that not only should you not worry about what people think, you can’t assume you’ll know their response either…

Where are you not showing up as yourself? Where are you holding back for fear of being too much or not enough?

I’ll say it again: who you truly are is what the world needs most!

That’s what my new program is about: remembering that truth and coming home to who you really are.

What I love is that one of the big shifts that my program Come Home to Yourself made for participants is that they stop second-guessing themselves. One participant said, “It makes me more mindful of when I want to fit in.”

 Another shared, “It has brought me peace and has connected me to see what I have forgotten about my true worth. Being active on the private forum helped build bonds and feel seen. I would highly recommend this program—10 out of 10!”

Doors are now open. If you’re ready to Come Home to Yourself and love your life again, you can read all about this program here.

With only 6 participants, I create a carefully held container where I can hold space for each person’s unique journey. And right now, Early Bird pricing is available—my way of making it easier to say yes to yourself.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

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