What you were really looking for last year

Last week I shared the top 10 of most read articles from the past year. A few key themes emerged as I looked at that year overview of what you read most.

What stood out is that many of these articles helped you redirect your focus—not just of time and energy, but of your inner resources: thoughts, attention, and emotional bandwidth.

These articles helped you identify where you unconsciously squandered that and how to get more joy and fulfillment out of life.

Here are the red threads I’m seeing:

1. Why do I feel so drained when I’m doing everything ‘right’?

What the top 10 reveals is that people are struggling because:

• their attention is hijacked (social media, bad news, worry, mental loops)
• their energy leaks into pleasing, producing, pushing through and fitting in
• their emotional capacity is spent on what no longer fits

Basically, you’re doing too much that’s required and not enough that lifts you up.

And most people do too much—period.

Replenishing energy is not prioritized—or perhaps its power or need is misunderstood. I know we often want to do ‘just one more thing’ before we take a break or call it a day.

2. Something in my life no longer fits—but I don’t know how to let go without blowing things up.

These articles address:

• reacting from habit
• operating from outdated identities
• making decisions from who you used to be, not who you are now

Your life—or you—changed. And as a result, energy and joy quietly leak away. You’re looking for answers while secretly hoping you won’t have to change too much. That’s why we often wait for that dreaded wake-up call—we resist change until we’re forced to do things differently.

These articles indicate the awareness that something is off and the desire to find an ideally gentle solution.

 3. Help me orient myself while things are changing—without rushing or numbing.

Many of these articles resonate because people are in-between:

• not in crisis
• not fully aligned
• not sure what comes next

They’re about navigating career uncertainty, relational shifts, loss, identity changes or a sense that “this phase is ending”.

I think these articles resonate because they normalize being ‘in between’. Yes, the practical tips are helpful and needed. And the insights help you understand why things feel or happen a certain way.

But I think the main thing is that people feel SEEN.

That’s also what I hear when people reach out to comment on an article. How it helps shift their perspective and assures them they’re not alone in a certain struggle.

The challenges of navigating our life

Seeing these themes as important topics doesn’t surprise me because these are three of the main challenges we come across as we’re navigating our life.

We try to do what’s right but we’re not feeling the uplift it’s supposed to give us. We’re disappointed and exhausted and looking for a way to course-correct without overhauling everything. And it helps to know there’s nothing wrong with us when we’re struggling with certain things.

In a world where everyone curates their feed and shows what looks like a permanent highlight reel of their life, it can feel daunting to be sad, overwhelmed or disappointed. Please don’t be! We’re all doing the best we can and we’re not supposed to have all the answers or do everything by ourselves. Reaching out for support or admitting you’re at the end of your rope actually takes strength.

The one you missed

There’s one article that deserved a spot in the top 10—but I think it didn’t make the cut because it was published in December: My boyfriend’s comment changed how I show up.

This article is about our need to fit in and how that costs us joy and energy—leading to a half-lived life if we’re not careful.

If this feels familiar

If you recognize yourself in these themes, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate this in your head (or by yourself).

On January 16th I’m starting an intimate journey called Come Home to Yourself. It’s designed for people who feel “in between”—not broken, not in crisis, but no longer willing to live disconnected from themselves.

It’s not about fixing or improving yourself.

It’s about creating the conditions to come back into alignment—so your energy, attention, and choices start working with you again.

You can read more about the program here, if you’re curious.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. Contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

Follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram.