This simple test shows who you really love most

In this modern-day world attention seems to become our most precious commodity. With so much going on there’s always more information—or perhaps I should say stimulation—to take in.

It’s become harder to focus fully on what we’re doing. Not only are we interrupted about every two minutes during work hours but dopamine addiction makes us want to check our phone.

We all do this if we’re not careful. Let me ask you; how often have you glanced at your phone while talking to someone today?

How important do you feel when someone holds on to their phone like a lifeline—looking at it every so many seconds to make sure they didn’t miss anything?

Recently I spoke to someone in person and he answered a quick text message while we were discussing something. I paused—waiting for him to finish typing his response—and he looked up and said “Go on, I can hear you.”

Really?

I thought “You might hear me but I don’t think you’ll be able to take in fully what I’m saying.”  So I didn’t say another word until he put his phone away.

I’m not saying I’m never guilty of doing something similar but I try to reserve that for truly time-sensitive messages and I’ll preface it by asking for a moment to send an answer.

I believe people can sense perfectly when you are fully present and when you’re not. In that light I found this quote illuminating:

“Attention is the most basic form of love.” John Tarrant

That really hit home. If where you place your attention is a sign of who or what you love, then I’m afraid a lot of people are having a love affair with their phone. It’s often the first thing we turn to in the morning and the last thing we check before we go to bed at night.

Invitation

Take a moment to consider what or whom is getting most of your attention.

If what’s getting most of your attention isn’t a true priority, then this is the perfect moment to course correct and consciously focus more on who (or what) does matter. Because what you focus on is what you’re feeding.

And make sure that when you do connect with someone, you allow yourself to be fully present.

Need support navigating your life? Iris van Ooyen is your guide to hope when life feels uncertain. In the moments when you feel lost and don’t know where to turn, Iris offers clarity, support, and a path forward. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. Contact Iris to help you navigate life’s pivotal crossroads with confidence and purpose.

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