How to experience more joy

With everything that’s happening in the world I wanted to focus on something positive 😊. To honor the 3-year Book Anniversary of Radiant, I’m happy to share more about one of my favorite topics from the book. And that is: Joy.

I think we can all use more joy in our life, especially now. So let’s look at what joy is and practical tips to incorporate more joy into your daily life. We’ll begin with a personal story.

For years I tried to fit in and go with the masses.

People told me to try harder or simply adapt. Even recently, someone very close to me said, “Yes, I know you are different, but you are the minority here so you can at least try to adapt to us.”

What?! That’s what I have done most of my life and that’s what has made me miserable. Trying harder and pushing myself past healthy boundaries is NOT the solution for me! It isn’t the solution for you, either.

What do they want me to say? “Yeah sure, let me just squash my feelings and needs. I’ll be over in the corner feeling miserable. Don’t bother on my behalf.”

For me, it had gotten to the point where I was trying so hard to be someone I was not that my physical body could no longer keep up with me. I had to learn how to take care of myself both energetically and physically. And I learned it meant I had to do things differently than most people.

About 80% of the population is less sensitive, which means the way things are generally done—the way everyone is used to—is geared toward the majority. “The way everyone is used to” often does not fit me and it may not work so well for you, either. Especially when you are a sensitive soul.

Highly sensitive people need other things than most people do to function well. More alone time, for example. When you plan your day and week, taking your sensitivity into account makes it much easier to avoid being drained from overstimulation. The Daily Energy Inventory will alert you to when you are doing too much and show you what a balanced day looks like. (You can download the Daily Energy Inventory for free here.)

Managing yourself, choosing who you are, what you want to be, and where you spend your time and energy has a lot to do with being true to yourself. To being authentic. To hold on to that authenticity despite what other people might think.

We often live our life backwards. We want to make a lot of money, so we can do more of the things we enjoy, and (we think) live happier lives. I believe we should start by doing more things we enjoy and less of what drains us or makes us unhappy. There is no need to wait until you have a certain amount of money to start working less and to be happier. You can be happier now!

Good self-care goes beyond rest and taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. I believe it should include looking after your own happiness. That is your responsibility. No one else’s.

That means you need to get clear on what you need in order to thrive. Focusing on “not being drained” is not good enough. I want you to feel amazing. If you’re doing soul-sucking work, if you’re in a relationship that isn’t working, it’s your duty to change. Either focus on improving the relationship or move on. Same goes for your job. Life is too short to settle for anything less than what brings you joy. It might look like you don’t have time to spare for fun. Joy might seem luxurious. But fun is a catalyst. What brings you joy is also your generator for more energy! And your happiness is definitely a prerequisite for becoming radiant.

Research on Joy

Recent research says the following about joy:

“Joy is caused by a distinct pattern of thinking: People experience joy when they feel (re)connected to someone or something important.

Second, joy predicts increased happiness over time.

Third, although gratitude and joy are distinct, they support each other in a “cycle of goodness” that enhances your well-being.

Finally, joy seems essential for “the good life,” and people would be wise not to miss the opportunity to pursue this emotion. In the words of Robert Louis Stevenson, “For to miss joy, is to miss all.”

In addition, I think people experience joy when they accomplish something important or special (to them). We’ve all seen the unbridled joy on the faces of athletes when they won an important match or medal. I experienced immense joy when I held the first copy of my book Radiant, as you can see in the picture above 😉.

Tips to experience more joy

1. Think back of a moment that brought you intense joy. Remember where you were and with whom. Recall as many details as you can so you can relive that special moment and immerse yourself in that feeling—filling yourself with joy. This is also a powerful tool to shift your state from negative to positive.
2. Get clear on what makes you unhappy—and remedy that to the best of your ability.
3. Make an effort to understand who you are and what you need in order to feel good about yourself and what you do. That includes understanding how to support yourself (and where that might deviate from other people.)
4. Spend time connecting with the people you love and care for.
5. Start a daily gratitude practice. Each day take a moment to think about at least three things you are grateful for. If you’re already regularly focusing on gratitude, make sure it’s not an item you’re checking off of your to-do lost. Pro tip: allow yourself to FEEL the gratitude. Let it fill you up. You can read more about the power of gratitude in this article.

I highly recommend you focus on joy so that you can live a happier—and I’m sure also a healthier—life! Let’s enjoy the life we’re living now, rather than save it for a distant future 😊.

Have a day full of energy and inspiration—and of course, joy!