If you want to thrive in 2025, I highly recommend adding more touch to your schedule. It helps alleviate pain, sadness and anxiety. It deepens connection (depending on the form) and it helps regulate stress.
Years ago, I was at an international training on Spiritual Psychology. The workshop leader recommended a girl who was single to get regular massages because she was not being touched enough.
I was still married at that point so could not fully understand her predicament. Having been single for quite some time I now fully appreciate the wisdom of that recommendation.
Skin-on-skin contact is important. There are countless studies detailing why you need to hold your newborn and I think we’ve all seen pictures of premature babies cradled on the bare chest of their parents.
You may have heard of the (horrific) Frederick’s experiment. The short version: babies in an orphanage were not allowed to be touched, and they died as a result.
But the importance of touch doesn’t stop when we age. We all need touch. And with the increase in living part of our lives virtually, there’s not just less real connection but less physical contact as a result.
And that has an impact on our well-being.
All kinds of touch
There is a reason we rub our knee after we’ve hurt it. Rubbing our skin releases hormones that make us feel better and lessens the pain. Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it shows why physical contact is crucial.
But many of us are deprived of enough physical touch.
And I believe that in today’s world it has become even more important to prioritize touch as an antidote to all the virtual experiences.
Tips to ensure more touch
Let me preface this by saying everyone’s need for touch is unique and it may vary depending on several factors such as personal preference, culture and upbringing. Of course, you need to feel safe—no matter whether the touch is casual, romantic or professional.
If you have a significant other, you’ll (hopefully) have an advantage here. Assuming you still like each other, you’ll have more opportunities for skin-on-skin contact.😉
The same goes for having children. They are usually free with their affections. If you don’t have children (or they no longer live around), visit a friend who does. Last week I’ve stocked up on hugs from my nephew and niece while they were here for Christmas.
- Give someone a hug. If you’re single, I recommend being on the lookout for opportunities to hug someone. Ask for a hug, if needs be. There have been plenty of times where I’ve asked a friend for a hug. They’re always happy to oblige.
- Hug or pet an animal.
- Ask your hairdresser to massage your scalp on your next visit.
- Book a massage.
Do it yourself options
- Give yourself a hug. Simply wrap your arms around yourself, close your eyes and squeeze. Bonus: think of someone you love and imagine they are giving you the hug. 🤗
- Give yourself a foot massage. This has the added benefit of being relaxing because you’ll stimulate nerve endings in the soles of your feet. Use some kind of massage oil (or even bodylotion) to make this experience more enjoyable.
- Massage your head. You can obviously use your hands and tips of your fingers and experiment. Be sure to massage your temples. If you feel tense or have a headache, I recommend using a drop of pure lavender oil to massage your temples.
Get this (or a similar) device. I got this one many years ago. In Dutch it’s called “prikkel” (which roughly translates to stimulation). You put it on top of your head and move it up, down and around. The idea is said to originate from the Aboriginals who used twigs to stimulate the various nerve endings on the scalp—relaxing and calming your system. It’s really enjoyable and even better when someone else does it for you. 😉- Stroke your hand and arms. You can do that during a mini break behind your computer e.g.
Don’t overcomplicate things. If you’re pressed for time, you can simply add a minute of massage to your after-shower ritual. Massage your feet when you’re watching your favorite show or are listening to a podcast etc.
I believe this world will be a better place when we all know how to take care of ourselves and our bodies. Touch is an important element in this equation. One we need no matter our circumstances. And if your love language (or that of someone you know) is physical touch, that’s an extra reason to incorporate hugs and the like into your daily life.
If you feel too busy to make time for touch, remember that it helps alleviate pain, sadness, anxiety and stress. Just to name a few. Plus it feels really good.
Have a day full of energy and inspiration!
