When we are afraid of something, whether it is on a conscious or (more often) subconscious level, we tend to pause and wait for the fear to go away. Somehow we freeze and we either turn inward or ignore the fear by doing something loud to pretend all is well. Some people turn to food to eat away their discomfort, others run to the gym to burn it off.
It is important to keep in mind that the thing we are often most afraid of is change itself. No matter how you react when you are afraid of something it usually is an avoidance strategy that may take your mind off things for a while but in the end nothing really changes.
So here are my best three tips on how to deal with fear:
1. Expect it
Know that fear is a part of life, that it is often a sign that you are stepping out of your comfort zone, and that your ego mind is simply trying to get you back in familiar (thus ‘safe’) territory. If you are prepared for fear you can start to learn to see it as a sign of change. Every time you are doing something new, whether it is in your personal or professional life, you can expect fear to roar its ugly head. Don’t worry, it’s supposed to.
2. Accept it
Try to embrace it as a signal of new things coming your way. The unfamiliar is simply triggering your fear switch and when you know why this is happening it may be easier to get a little perspective on what it happening. Nine out of ten times your life is not actually in danger. Your fear is simply showing you that you are about to do something new and unfamiliar. Guess what: this is where change happens!
3. Take baby steps
The worst thing you can do is to wait for the fear to go away. The only way to make it leave is to step back into your comfort zone, but that is not really where you want to be if you want to make the most of this life. If you want to be your best self then from time to time you are invited to stretch yourself and do things differently.
Perhaps it is time to let go of an old belief, perhaps you want to improve your health or reach more clients. Whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, think of one small step that you can take today. You can take a new route to work to signal your brain that it needs to be open to change, you can call a friend and ask for support or email a current client and ask for a referral.
The main thing is that when you are stuck in fear there is no flow and you are at a standstill. You need to get in motion so you can get back in the flow. Once you get moving again you will see that things will start to fall in place.
Now every phase in your life triggers certain fears. Over the past 15 years I have discovered that we all go through different growth phases and that each comes with its own manual and its own challenges & fears.
You will learn which phase you currently land in, what that looks like and which actions you can take now to move forward. It will help you get a different perspective on certain fears and I often hear how helpful it is. Get access here