The thing that matters above all else

The events of the past week led me to reassess what’s truly important in life.

It started with the father of one of my best friends passing away on Tuesday. There’s nothing like being confronted with death to remind you of what really matters—though it’s sad that we seem to need this reminder. (Don’t wait for that wake-up call.)

Then Wednesday morning I spoke to my brother and learned that my nine-year-old nephew had a medical check at the hospital (he’s fine). But it felt important to spend some time with him so he could tell me about it. I sensed he needed some TLC—so I asked my brother to put him on the call.

After giving me the play-by-play of that morning’s event: “I got up at two minutes past seven and I had to wear an old t-shirt…”, my nephew asked me to read to him from Roald Dahl.

So I did. Fully aware there are a million things I needed to do. And equally aware that none of them were as urgent or important as prioritizing this time with family.

We ended up having a one-hour FaceTime chat that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Thursday, I had a reunion from my old work at United Biscuits. I left at 3.30 pm — a solid chunk out of the workday — to make it to Amsterdam in time. Most colleagues I hadn’t seen in 25 years. But we picked up as if we had seen each other last month. It was truly remarkable and the evening was too short to speak to everyone.

Home late, I still got up early to pay my respects to my friend’s father. And Friday afternoon I enjoyed a relaxing walk with a dear friend who was recently declared ‘clean’ after chemo and radiation. (That’s us in the photo above, on a walk I cherish.)

So last week was special. It was challenging to balance my time with work, but more importantly, it brought me to an even deeper understanding of the significance of the people in my life. And that’s why I’m choosing anew.

I’m reprioritizing the importance of human connections and how I want to allocate my time—creating more space for quality time moving forward.

Because spending time with people you care for is so precious. Yet I have to admit that over the course of the winter especially, I had gotten a little away from that. We’re all busy and it’s so much easier to pick up the phone than spend time in traffic to get to Amsterdam on time.

It can be easy to hole up in your own ‘castle’ and connect with the world and even those you love virtually—forgetting the extra value of meeting with people in person.

Perhaps you recognize that in your own life.

It reminds me of this quote from Brené Brown:

“Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”

That is exactly what I felt last week. Though there’s of course much sadness when someone passes away, what I witnessed yesterday (Monday) at the funeral of my friend’s father is that together we’re stronger. In Dutch we have the expression “Gedeelde smart is halve smart” which roughly translates to “Shared sorrow is half the sorrow.”

Just like shared joy is double the joy. That’s another Dutch expression and one I fully subscribe to!

So I hope this week you’ll take a moment to reassess your priorities and make sure you’re including enough time for the thing that matters above all else in your life. The people.

If you’d like support in making that shift, the WilDoe® Matrix is a good place to start. This powerful tool helps you align your time and energy with what you really want. This article explains how to do that.

Sometimes a week like mine is the nudge we need. If you’re ready to stop waiting for that wake-up call and start making the people—and yourself—a real priority,  join the waitlist for Come Home to Yourself here.

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a life transformation mentor with 20+ years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life’s demands have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again. 

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