The simple heart technique that supports your brain

July 29, 2025

After 35 hours of meditation in one week, I discovered something that changed how I understand the connection between my heart and brain forever.

I’ve just returned from a 7-day Advanced Retreat from Dr. Joe Dispenza and I’m so glad I went! It’s been a very intense week with 25 hours of lectures and 35 hours (!) of meditation. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I was scary excited about going—given the intensity of the program (starting each day at 6 am and once at 4 am) and what it would put in motion for me.

But I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Not only did I meet wonderful people, it gave me great insights into the workings of our body, personal revelations and powerful experiences. There are three takeaways that stand out that I’d like to share with you so you might benefit from these understandings as well.

To my surprise I learned a lot more about the workings of our heart—the actual physical organ beating in your chest right now. Here’s what I discovered: your heart may be an important key to help you break away from stress and overwhelm!

Let me explain how the heart impacts not just our physical health but our emotional and mental well-being as well.

The power of heart coherence

I first learned about heart coherence in 2006—but it hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind in the past few years. I’m glad its importance got refreshed because heart coherence is at the basis of so many things.

The HeartMath Institute has been researching the connection between the heart and the brain for over 40 years. Because not only does the heart respond to the brain but the heart actually sends more signals to the brain than vice versa!

Their research shows that different patterns of heart activity (during different emotional states) have clear effects on how we’re able to function emotionally and cognitively.

“During stress and negative emotions, when the heart rhythm pattern is erratic and disordered, the corresponding pattern of neural signals traveling from the heart to the brain inhibits higher cognitive functions. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. (This helps explain why we may often act impulsively and unwisely when we’re under stress.)” — HeartMath Institute

So stress and negativity diminish the workings of the brain. Which begs the question: what happens to the heart and brain when you feel relaxed and happy?

What is heart coherence?

When your heart is coherent it means it’s harmonious. And as you probably guessed, that bodes well:

“In contrast, the more ordered and stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain during positive emotional states has the opposite effect – it facilitates cognitive function and reinforces positive feelings and emotional stability. This means that learning to generate increased heart rhythm coherence, by sustaining positive emotions, not only benefits the entire body, but also profoundly affects how we perceive, think, feel, and perform.” — HeartMath Institute

In short, when you experience ‘negative’ emotions or stress, everything goes south. When you feel happy, relaxed or grateful that reinforces all things good and makes it easier to function well.

The problem, of course, is that most of us live in a constant state of stress. We’ve gotten used to always be ‘on’ and often find it hard to live our lives from a relaxed state. We’re continuously taking in information in an attempt to predict our next action and know what’s required from us. As a result, we switch from task to task or even try multi-tasking and that has an effect on the brain. Our brain has so many things going on that it becomes incoherent.

“The incoherent patterns of physiological activity associated with stressful emotions can cause our body to operate inefficiently, deplete our energy, and produce extra wear and tear on our whole system. This is especially true if stress and negative emotions are prolonged or experienced often.” — Heart Math Institute

When your heart and brain are incoherent long enough, your body gets out of balance and disease may (or perhaps I should say: will) result.

I was aware of all this but I had forgotten the crucial role the heart plays in this equation. During the retreat we started most meditations by relaxing into the heart—and that’s where everything began to shift for me.

Of course, meditating requires you to take your focus off your environment, your to-do list, your phone and your body. If you’ve ever tried meditation, you’ll know that’s the hardest part. 😉

Relaxing into the heart

During that very first two-hour meditation my body was giving me all sorts of trouble. It’s probably the hardest meditation I’ve ever done. I stuck with it but it took everything I got and all the hours of meditating in the past two decades to not give up. When we were told to relax into the heart, I felt something but it wasn’t a grand feeling of love (or even relaxation).

That week we meditated at least three times per day and most meditations started by relaxing into the heart. The reason for that is that once the heart becomes relaxed and thus coherent, it sends energy to the brain to allow the brain to become coherent as well. And that’s what’s needed for health.

Because when you’re relaxed in the heart you’ve moved out of stress and survival. When you’re running from a predator or stressing about that next meeting, your focus narrows to your environment and everything that is relevant to the challenge at hand. When you go into a state of rest or relaxation, you can broaden your focus and get out of that tunnel vision.

The more I relaxed into the heart the more I felt. But it wasn’t until I got back home and was hugging my 8-year-old nephew a few days later that I felt a huge shift. My nephew was getting ready to leave for the airport (he lives abroad) and he came to give me a hug. As I embraced him, I consciously focused on relaxing my heart—and to my surprise I felt an enormous amount of love flare up. My heart area got warm and it spread throughout my entire body. I think my nephew felt it too because he climbed into my lap and held onto me for minutes. Now, he’s not a short hugger but this was exceptional. We were both content to bask in the feeling and it was glorious.

I understand that trying to relax your heart might sound daunting—especially when you’re already feeling overwhelmed by your endless to-do list, that demanding job, or the constant mental chatter that keeps you awake at night. But here’s what I’ve learned: your heart doesn’t need you to have it all figured out. It just needs you to pause and listen.

How to start embracing your heart

The easy way to start is to place a hand on your heart right now, and simply focus on it. Perhaps you can feel it beating. If you want you can close your eyes to help you focus better. Then breathe love or gratitude into your heart.

If that’s too big of a jump, then first take a moment to think about someone (or something) you love and allow yourself to feel that emotion. Then direct that feeling towards your heart (if you’re not already feeling it there.) Keep breathing calmly and stay focused on your heart in a relaxed way. Remember, you’re not trying to force anything to happen. Keep relaxing your body more and more and fill your heart with love, gratitude and/or relaxation.

It may take a while before you actually feel a difference, but that doesn’t mean you’re not relaxing into your heart. It simply means the shift isn’t yet big enough for you to register it. Keep at it. Research shows that when you do this your heart gets more coherent (aka healthier). As with exercising any muscle, the more you do it the easier it gets and the more of a result you’ll see!

Chances are it’s well worth the wait 😉 Just think of the example with my nephew.

I recommend you try relaxing into the heart or sending love to your heart on a daily basis. It’s crucial for your health and longevity and it feels really good.

In addition, you can try one of my free guided meditations on Insight Timer, like Open Your Heart to Allow More Love In or this 6-min. grounding exercise to open your heart.

Next week I’ll share my other two takeaways from this powerful retreat. Have a day full of energy and inspiration!

Need support navigating your life? Iris van Ooyen is your guide to hope when life feels uncertain. In the moments when you feel lost and don’t know where to turn, Iris offers clarity, support, and a path forward. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love. Contact Iris to help you navigate life’s pivotal crossroads with confidence and purpose.