The holidays are upon us. For those of you who have just celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope it was lovely, magical, fun—and completely stress-free. If it wasn’t, you might not be too eager for Christmas or any other major holiday (or gathering).
If you were exhausted or stressed, maybe it wasn’t you! Maybe it was the effect other people and their state of being had on you. Let me show you what I mean and how to fix it.
Energy is contagious. If someone is elated and exited, it kind of bubbles over and makes you feel happy as well. Research* has shown that smiles are infectious. When someone genuinely smiles at you, you can’t help but smile in return. In fact, the intensity of my smile can increase yours.
The same is true for less positive emotions. When someone is grumpy, anxious or plain miserable—you’ll have to work harder at staying happy and not get bogged down as well.
I’m sure you can recall a situation where you walked into a room and you felt people just had an argument. Nobody had to tell you, you just knew. Because you sensed it. You picked up on it.
Taking on people’s emotions can even cause you to feel physical discomfort and anxiety.
Let me show you a glimpse of what Christmas dinner was like before I learned to keep other people’s emotions out of my system. Join me in my time capsule to 2005.
Halfway through Christmas dinner, I had developed an intense stomach pain. I had to push back with one hand against my abdomen while leaning with the other on the table, bent forward to somehow stay seated.
This wasn’t new in itself. Most dinners ended up like this, for me.
Even though I enjoyed the company, I knew most likely I would end up feeling miserable. I simply assumed it was the food. Though I’m not a big eater, I might have eaten more than usual. Or perhaps it was the difference in cuisine….
It never occurred to me that the problem wasn’t the food, but the energy and the emotions of the people around me. Or more precisely: I was unaware of how much those impacted me.
Since I’m super sensitive, I suck up other people’s emotions like a sponge. I siphon their sadness, frustration, or stress, and everyone around me will feel fine. Much better, most likely. While I, on the other hand, will feel drained.
I’ve suffered through many dinners feeling exhausted—needing most of the next day to recharge and recoup.
This may sound extreme, but for highly sensitive people this is all too common. And even if you don’t rank high on the sensitivity scale, it will still impact you (though it’s probably less evident.)
You may be taking someone’s energy in when you sit beside them. In fact, you always do—it just doesn’t always bother you so you won’t notice.
Yesterday a client told me that during last week’s Thanksgiving dinner she noticed the impact of her dinner partner’s energy on her well-being.
So what do you do when this happens?
As with any change, step one is awareness. With this post in mind, you will hopefully be more alert to changes in the atmosphere or how you feel when you’re around other people.
The next time you sit next to someone during dinner or in a meeting and you start to feel uncomfortable, I’d like you to try these simple but powerful tips.
1. Step away
Find a way to excuse yourself for a moment. Hide in the bathroom if you need to.
2. Take a moment to get centered and ground yourself
When you feel anxious or unsettled, that might be hard—especially when you haven’t practiced grounding often. In that case this 3-minute audio will help you.
Audio Player(To learn more about grounding, check out this article.)
3. Take a few deep breaths.
Place a hand on your lower belly to help your breathing to deepen. As you breathe out, imagine letting go of the anxiety, discomfort, whatever it is that you’re feeling. Keep breathing deeply until you start to feel calmer or lighter.
If that doesn’t help, you can imagine sending the emotions back to where they came from. It can help to say “I’m sending these emotions back to the sender.” You may feel silly saying that, but it works like a charm. No harm in trying, right? 😉
If you’re new to cleansing your energy, it might take a few tries. And you may need some support in getting rid of it fully.
In that case this free guided visualization will help you. If you don’t have enough time to listen then and there, I recommend you listen before you go to bed at the latest.
In my next blog I’ll share more of my tried-and-true tips to help you navigate the holidays in a way that leaves you feeling good and full of energy.
Was this helpful? I’d love to hear from you!