Collateral Beauty

I recently watched the movie Collateral Beauty and it was heart-wrenchingly beautiful, and sad, and intense. Nevertheless, I recommend you watch it—just make sure you bring Kleenex.

Perhaps it doesn’t impact you as it did me, but it hit me squarely. And it reminded me of an oracle card from Colette Baron-Reid—who has been my mentor several years ago.

She wrote “Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls. Our grief strips away our masks and loosens our tight hold on our separateness…. Pain and suffering is part of life and no one is immune to it. Can you view this loss, this pain, this dissonance as a way back to Source? Let your sorrow break your heart wide open.”

I got this card over and over again—at times thinking my heart couldn’t break any further. And it annoyed me too, because to me it was a sign I hadn’t yet been able to let the sorrow break me open far enough… Sigh.

So I tried, not sure which buttons to push. I get in on an intellectual level ‘Let your sorrow break your heart wide open’. I understand parts of it at an emotional level and there have been moments where I truly felt it—deep inside. Feeling naked and raw from all the emotion. But I still struggle to keep this wide open all the time.

Last week was an emotional week. I cried a lot, and often I don’t even know why I cry. It’s not that my life is so miserable or something terrible happened. I know I feel other people’s emotions but I’ve learned not to take those on anymore. This felt more like a book, movie or situation triggered something deep inside me—activating a release and healing.

It reminds me of something Glennon Doyle Melton wrote “I understand now that I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now when someone asks me why I cry so often. For the same reason I laugh so often… because I’m paying attention.”

So how about you?

Do allow yourself to truly feel what is going on in and around you? Or are you blocking your emotions and staying safely in your head? I know there is less pain when you stay detached and in your head, but there is also less beauty.

You can’t numb only the pain—you will numb all the good stuff too!

I think there is a lot of beauty in feeling and being connected. It’s what our world needs. Step away from the blame and self-centeredness. We can only survive and thrive together.

How about you? Where can you see collateral beauty in your life? Or where can you allow yourself to feel more, even when it hurts?

Iris van Ooyen guides people home to themselves. As a Dutch life transformation mentor with 24 years of experience, she offers hope with a compass—helping you find your way back to who you truly are when life, success, or circumstance have made you lose touch with yourself. She’s the author of Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love and the novel Poisoned Arrow. When you feel life should be more than this, contact Iris to come home to yourself—and love your life again.

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